My flagrant place-dropping lately has left me
wincing.
Without considering
how pretentious it sounds, I have been inserting my experiences in far-flung
and exotic destinations into my conversations, my e-mails, my Facebook status,
and of course, this blog.
Place-dropping is
as obnoxious a habit as name-dropping, its popular cousin.Worse, according to the author of
that cheeky article, it can be addictive.
But to be fair, it’s
also a natural hazard of leading a global life, one I remember well from my
days as an expatriate.
Sitting around a
table at yet another dinner party abroad, it was typical for guests to try to
one-up each other with travel tales, usually involving close calls in dodgy
airplanes, meals that defied health codes, or accommodation that didn’t live up
to expectations or its website photo. Expats take advantage of any opportunity to
share their stories with like-minded people because God knows no one ‘at home’
ever wants to listen to them.
And there’s a
good reason for that. It’s too easy to come across as smug, superior and
downright insufferable (guilty! guilty! guilty!) when the travel gods have
smiled on you and the urge to share this good fortune gets the better of you.
It can also alienate friends and relatives.
A girlfriend of mine, a former travel agent who is a friend in both my real and virtual worlds, recently hammered home that last point to me. Taking umbrage at my Facebook postings during a fall chock-a-block with interesting trips, she told me that I was just one destination away from being digitally de-friended. Then, she went out and got a second dog because she knew that would make me--dogless for almost two years now and desperate to the point of stalking cute puppies--jealous. It worked.
- Never initiate a conversation with anyone you know (rather, chat away to strangers as they always seem more interested in your stories than your friends);
- Wear something you purchased on your trip (a gorgeous shawl or a piece of jewellery work well) and then wait to be asked about it. If twenty minutes go by and no questions emerge, inform your friend that you had considered buying them whatever you're wearing but then sadly, forgot;
- Ask about their recent travels and enjoy watching them struggle not to reciprocate and ask about yours.
Hahahaha! OMG! Guilty as charged!
ReplyDeleteI love your tips, Robin. It will take some sincere practice on my part to employ them. I resolve to use them about telling people that I'm Greek as well. A dear friend has resorted to timing me to see how long it takes for me to tell people I'm Greek or have initiated place-dropping. I pushed it to 20 minutes!
Practice makes perfect Georgia! Thanks for the feedback :-)
ReplyDeleteGood conversation is an art that must be practiced. Why do we bother conversing with relative strangers in social settings? Obviously, we've chosen to be there, but is it merely to be entertained by the discourse of others? Surely we have a duty to our hosts to make some effort, and so we engage in social chit-chat. I personally hate wasting my time on idle back-and-forth so, right away, I try to find out what I have in common with those I'm talking with. I throw out the names of people or places, social encounters, news stories, anything - just to elicit a response. And when the response comes I shut up and listen, waiting for that "commonality" that lets me know someone in the group just a little bit better. However, I've also come across too many who come to gatherings but have no idea how to carry on a conversation. They seem to hover on the edge of the group, unwilling to make the effort to join in the conversation. I've often found myself blabbing on and on, waiting for some, any, conversational reaction from them. I suppose I actually feel badly for those who "hover". It's almost like they're alone in the crowd, watching, listening, and too often, passing silent judgement on the stories from other people's lives. What a sad waste of existence, don't you think? Very much ejoying the blog, Rob.
ReplyDeleteHaving suffered as an expat kid who could never share her amazing experiences with "normal" kids, I am hypersensitive to what you are talking about. However cultural habits also die hard, and the Brits are known for showing affection through gentle criticism.
ReplyDeleteIt would just be wrong to take on a new puppy only to upstage a "place dropper"
Yeah, I know. I am just reading Rachel Johnson's memoir Diary of a Lady, coz she took over as ed of the 125 yr old mag, The Lady. She uses the word 'mentionitis'. I love that and it is definitely entering my vocab as of now.
ReplyDeleteI love your 'wear a gorgeous shawl' idea, Rob, but you are so darn minimalist you probably don't buy any!
You're wrong about the shawls Jo! I bought myself one in India! (I just place-dropped!) :-)
ReplyDelete